Planning through change: how financial advice supports couples
Financial planning is often presented as a personal exercise – your goals, your assets, your future. But for many people, it's shaped by a relationship, complicated by different attitudes to risk and spending, and deeply affected by the changes that life brings to a partnership.
WE WORK WITH A LOT OF COUPLES. And what we've learned, over many years of those conversations, is that the financial questions are rarely the hardest part. The harder part is usually the conversation that has to happen first.
Why couples often avoid the financial conversation
It's remarkably common for two people who share a home, a family and a financial life to have never properly talked about money. Not because they're avoiding it deliberately, but because it never seems like the right moment, or because each person assumes the other has a clearer picture than they do, or because the topic carries a weight that makes it easier to defer.
The result is that many couples arrive at a major decision – retirement, selling a property, receiving an inheritance, or facing a health change – without a shared understanding of where they actually stand.
This is more common than people might expect. But it means that when those moments arrive, there's often more to untangle than there needs to be.
The moments that tend to bring couples to us
Clients come to us at all kinds of stages. Some arrive early, wanting to build a plan together from the outset. Others come later, prompted by something that's made the financial picture feel urgent or uncertain.
The most common moments we see:
Approaching retirement together – but not necessarily at the same time.
When one partner retires before the other, it changes income, routine and the dynamics of a shared financial plan in ways people often don't anticipate. Getting ahead of this, rather than working it out as it happens, makes a significant difference.
A significant inheritance or windfall.
Receiving a lump sum can feel positive – but it often surfaces questions about values and priorities that haven't been properly discussed. What's it for? How much should go to the children? Does this change our retirement timeline?
A health change or diagnosis.
This is one of the moments where financial clarity matters most, and where people are often least equipped to think clearly. Having a plan already in place – and an adviser who knows the full picture – removes a significant burden at an already difficult time.
Separation or divorce.
This deserves its own conversation, but for now, it's worth saying that the financial consequences of separation are significant and often poorly understood – and that good advice at this stage, even when it's painful, is genuinely protective.
Blended families.
When couples bring children and assets from previous relationships, the planning questions around inheritance, protection and estate structure become considerably more complex. Getting this right requires both technical knowledge and sensitivity.
What good financial planning looks like for couples
The most useful thing we can do is give couples a shared picture – of where they are now, what their future looks like under different scenarios, and what decisions they need to make, and when.
First, both partners need to be in the room – not because we insist on it, but because a plan built around one person's understanding of a shared financial life tends to have gaps. It's also harder to maintain over time.
Second, it requires honesty about where the two of you actually differ. Different attitudes to risk are extremely common in couples, but it is important that this is acknowledged and accounted for, not papered over. The same is true of different assumptions about retirement age, inheritance intentions, or how much financial support to give adult children.
Third, it requires planning for what might happen, not just what you expect to happen. Wills, power of attorney, protection – rather than being ‘morbid’ topics, are a practical expression of looking after each other.
A note on later-life planning as a couple
One thing that comes up regularly in our conversations with older clients is the realisation that their financial plan was built when their circumstances were different – when both partners were working, when the children were younger, when certain assumptions about retirement felt solid.
Life changes, and plans need to change and adapt. A review that reflects both partners' current position, priorities and intentions is often more valuable than any individual financial decision made along the way.
Where to start
If you and your partner have been meaning to have a proper financial conversation but haven't quite got there – or if your circumstances have changed and your plan hasn't caught up – we'd welcome the opportunity to sit down with you both.
It doesn't need to be a big or formal process. Often, the most useful thing is simply a conversation that gives you both a clearer picture and a sense of what to do next.
Get in touch with your adviser, or contact us via the button below.
